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Has your relationship ended?

When you got together there was love in your heart.  But now it is over.  You may have tried so hard to make it work out.  Face it: When a relationship ends stress is in the air.  On one hand, there are so many decisions that need to be made.  On the other hand, communication may be at an all time low.

 

The stress may make you feel like tearing out your hair.

 

Are you frustrated with the inability of your child’s other parent to put the children first?

You may be feeling forced to make crucial decisions about the future for you and your children, but right now, can be a chaotic, demanding, and stressful time to communicate about the most important issues (children . . .). 

 

You may feel like verbally lashing out as a way to protect yourself from the pain.

 

Are you tired of arguing about your children’s schedules?  Money?  Travel?  School?

The arguments can be exhausting.  The exhaustion makes it more difficult to consider the necessary details that will create the future for you and your children. 

 

Consider how your children are being affected by their parent’s decision to split up:

  • Arguments between mom and dad have a negative impact on the children
  • Children may be confused, scared, or put up a front of competency
  • Children may become more aggressive or act out
  • Children may feel forced to take sides and feel guilty about loving both parents
  • Your relationship with your child may become strained

 

Make decisions that will best insure successful co-parenting in the future.

 

Others have done it and you can too!

Even though this is a challenging time, know that there is hope. 

 

The good news is that you can lessen the impact of divorce on your children

BFMA is a group of experienced conflict resolution professionals dedicated to Boulder County relationships, community, communication, education and affordability.

 

As a group of a group of independent, experienced mediators, BFMA’s goals are:

  • To create a safe environment for all parties to genuinely express themselves
  • Help to restore a sense of control for each parent
  • To assist the parties to make a positive situation out of a chaotic one by focusing on the best interest of the child
  • To improve communication, and smooth out the morass of misunderstandings that have destroyed the Mother’s and Father’s ability to trust each other to co-parent
  • To support parenting consistency for the best interest of their children
  • Help guide you through the process today to facilitate a better tomorrow

 

 

 

Divorce is not uncommon

You’re not in the minority.  Over half of all marriages end in divorce.  Although the relationship ends, too often it may lead to years of unresolved pain and residual conflict between the parents.  The worst of it is that the children often reap what the parent sew.

 

Quality co-parenting in the best interest of the children is a goal worth striving for

The mediation process assists divorcing or separated parents to:

  • Communicate more effectively
  • Start / continue a history of making decisions together
  • Recognize how their attitudes and behaviors can affect the children
  • Agree on most realistic solutions for your individual situation
  • Have the details of your agreements written down

 

“But I don’t have children.”

Although BFMA’s focus has been to assist distressed divorcing families with children, we work with numerous divorcing people who do not have children.  In addition we have several mediators who specialize in parent teen mediation.

 

“Can you also help with post divorce issues?”

Yes!  As your children go through developmental stages their needs change.  It’s common that any parenting plan that works well for several years will need to be modified as the developing needs of the children change.

 

“What does ‘best interest of the children’ mean?”

This is a legal term that refers to openness to look at all circumstances of the child and his / her family.  Aspects to consider are: what the child is used to (sometimes called “the status quo”), what the child’s health and education needs are, who has historically cared for the child, who can best ensure the child remains closely connected with her/his extended family, what the child’s wishes are, and who can best ensure the child is raised within her/his culture/religion.

 

“This sounds overwhelming to me”

Yes, ending a relationship can be a most overwhelming time and create challenges in your life.  Whether you feel overwhelmed right now or not, it is a good time for you to rely on all of your resources and personal support systems.

 

The mediation process is one of those resources designed to empower people to make the best decisions possible at this time.

 

“I’ve heard that divorce is like a cookie cutter process.  Is this true?”

There is no universal experience with divorce.  Numerous factors will greatly influence how you experience any process around your divorce and your children.  There is a good chance that going through the court process will feel more like a ‘cookie cutter’ process than a mediation that is designed to humanize the experience for everyone.

 

The Purpose of this Website

We’ve put this website together to offer alternatives to the adversarial Boulder County coutroom process, where it’s gauranteed no one is a winner, especially your children. You’ve seen a lot of information here.  What is next?  First, do you have all of the information you need from us at this point to make a decision?  Probably not. 

More than likely you have a few questions 

In the “About Us” section you can read the how and why BFMA formed.

Maybe you still have some questions about the mediation process itself 

Click here to see more about the process.

Maybe you would like to briefly discuss you situation with a mediator to verify that your issues can be addressed in mediation.  We don’t charge to give you information you need to make a decision. 

You can contact us by email by clicking here, or call us at 303-552-0471

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